Caring for my family's Veterans was an Honor

As a former Air Force Brat I have been afforded the many perks of travel and experience of diverse culture outside the contiguous United States. My Father, Wallace D. Ackroyd, USAF, (ret. dec.), served in command posts in Belgium and Germany during the Cold War. Raised "on alert" with sirens sounding during war exercises is a childhood memory I carry and reflect upon. My annoyance then, a groan to shrieking wail that pierced and interrupted my favorite song through my snugged stereo headphones, I recognize now as the sound of security.

Security, to feel secure, knowing that you will be safe and cared for; that was a given for me growing up. It was also a given, that in my later years, I would repay this in kind by caring for my family's Veterans. Not always easy and most times challenging; still, it was an honor to have cared for, in part or whole, each one.

On this Veterans Day 2012, I share these family and personal memories for several reasons. We are still at war. Many of our Service Men and Service Women will be coming home soon. It won't be easy for their families. The sons and daughters they knew before, they won't recognize now.

Know this as I know this. That young man or young woman you sent off to the other side of the world to fight for our freedoms, as unrecognizable as he or she may be; in itself a casualty of having lived through the atrocities of this war, still resides deep within. Muster every bit of strength, courage, compassion, energy, understanding and patience; lots and lots of patience. Weave it in a blanket of loving family familiarity and wrap your soldier in the gift of your time.

Please find below a list of my Family's Veterans. Next to each name is the information I know and have of his or her military affiliation and war. Alongside you will also find a memory I have as caregiver. Two have linked excerpts to a storied memory or memoir. Warning: there is some adult language. I start with my most recent caregiver memory and work backwards chronologically.

Herbert E. Keel, (deceased) retired Aerographer, United States Navy, WWII

"There had been a severe hurricane that brushed the New England coast in 1938, that caused the Thames River to overflow and flood the base. Watermarks on the torpedo shop walls were 10-15 feet above the floors and it had wrecked the old wooden barracks. They were building new facilities across the street and up on a hill on higher ground, but it wouldn‘t be done until spring. The old barracks, which we slept in, were damp, cold and drafty. I finally developed pneumonia, for the first time in my life, and from then on I would forever have respiratory problems." - The Memoirs of Herbert Eugene Keel, The Military Years

Dad, Mom's second husband, even though he quit smoking, was forever plagued by a consumptive cough that required much medication and elicited strong concerns from his doctors, Mom and me. Dad's bedroom door was just across the hall from mine. Late night and early morning hours were filled with the "mmmmwahhhh-shhhh-gah-shpishhhh" of his oxygen machine. Sleep, for me, sometimes came at a premium. But come it did; in the knowing that Dad was able to breathe comfortably.

Helen Mayenfels, (deceased) exited service,  German Luftwaffe, unconfirmed German Resistance Fighter

"Kahhh-Deee! Kahhh-Deeeee!" Oma cried out through her memory-misted night terror. She had these often. This one was particularly dark.

"Die haben mich geshossen! Ich bin geshossen!" ("They shot me! I've been shot!") 

Oma's eyes were glazed and mired in the past. I could tell she wasn't with me here, now, in this time and place. I didn't know what to do. I felt so helpless watching her. She was terrified! My response shocked even me.

"No, Oma" I said in English as I checked her back, under her nighty for injuries, "they just missed you. Don't worry. I've got my gun right here" (I lied) "I'll shoot those fucking bastards' heads off!" (and I would have).

"Nah Kah-dee!, so sprecht mir doch nicht" ("Kathe! we don't talk like that"). The shock of hearing her granddaughter's use of profanity, in her presence, brought Oma back into the waking world. I spent the next several hours rubbing her back. We shared warm tea and cookies and watched a German non-war movie.

Find more of my Oma's influence on me in Memories of Oma According to Communication Theorists...

Walter Ackroyd (deceased), Shipman, United States Navy, World War II
and
Delbert Bruegemann (deceased), (?) United States Army, World War II

My Grandpa Ackroyd and my Uncle Delbert are joined with the "and" for a reason. My Grandma Ackroyd cared for both of them in the same little house, in the small, small town of Steeleville, Illinois. What a difference it must have been to go from a quiet, tiny town, population < 200, to a war ravaged foreign country where they spoke in words you could not understand; in a place where you had to kill or be killed. And to wonder if you would ever make it home.

Both of them did though; make it home. But neither was the same as they were before. I know only because I eavesdropped from under my covers upon the late-night, low-hushed conversations.

"If Del doesn't get his lunch at exactly noon, he throws a fit!" 

my Grandma told my Father. As I grew older, I joined these late nights spent seated 'round the Formica covered, aluminum legged kitchen table; Grandma's therapy. There were worse things than Uncle Delbert's "fits." But you didn't talk about "those kinds of things" outside the home. Back then, there were no support groups.

My writing of this piece is both difficult and necessary. Those, who in no way, have any affiliation of the military, save what they read online or see on TV, do not often realize the sacrifices made by our Service Men and our Service Women. The above snippets of memories of my Family's Veterans are only miniscule momentos when compared to the Grand Service of all of our Veterans.

Please, today, as you rush from sale to sale or host that BBQ or languish and savor your day off, take a moment, just one moment, to remember all of those who enabled your freedoms. Ask a Family Caregiver if he or she needs help or a break. Bring resources and relief to your neighbors and organizations. Donations of money are always needed. But what will you get if you donate your time?

Resources

DAV.org
United States Department of Veterans Affairs
VA Caregiver Support

FREE Meals & More to Honor our Veterans

Golden Corral    Military Appreciation Monday   November 12, 2012 4pm - 9pm
Outback Steakhouse Free Bloomin' Onion and Coke November 11th & 12th  Military Discount November 13th - December 31st

Donate

Step Up for Our Wounded Veterans this Veterans Day at USO.org

"...make a gift of $10 or more to support our career development programs for our wounded heroes and the variety of programs we offer our troops and their families. Your donation will provide us the resources we need to make sure we are there for our wounded, ill or injured troops throughout their healing journey."

Thanks for all you do,

Brigadier General John Pray, USAF (Ret.)
Executive Vice President, USO

If you are active service or a Veteran, present your military ID at Anna's Linens and Lowe's for a discount. Also, ask wherever you shop if their store carries a military discount. Please share any stores that have these discounts in the comments below. Thank You and have a Blessed Veterans Day.

Let's get together