You are the Funny Bunny Narrator.
You give 👇 (*In the comment section ) POV hilarious scripting and op-ed reaction to one or all of the following characters:
Four Year Old Precocious Kathe, looks out the bathroom window and sees Mom, Oma and Dad getting a jump on the Easter Egg Hunt without her. Out the bathroom door, down the spiral staircase, and out the great big heavy double doors, she runs out into the great big front yard screaming "How Dare You All Start Without Me!"
Dad, Mom and Oma, are each very much surprised, and can't keep themselves from laughing at the four year old child, dripping wet and wearing nothing but a red-faced scowl of betrayal.
Dad is late for his shift at the Kleine Brogel AFB Command Post in Peer, Belgium. He doesn't hide his laughter. The scene is too precious. He was going to be later than just a few minutes.
Mom is so happy that everything is going perfectly on this Cold and Drizzling but still Beautiful 1967 Easter Sunday morning. "Just a few more eggs to hide, and Mom and me can get back to working on the Easter Dinner. The guys will all be here around sixteen hundred. I hope I have enough beer for them all. Oh! I have to go check on the greens and beans and chitlins. Staff Sgt Murphy told me it was traditional for Easter, in his hometown, somewhere in the boondocks of Mississippi." She hears her daughter screaming to high heaven. Straightening up from her Easter Egg Hunt careful egg placement, she pivots to admonish the rude voiced child. Not believing her eyes, she drops the basket, still half full with Artisan level decorated Easter Eggs. More than a few are ruined.
Oma is smoking a Pall Mall non filter as she supervises her Daughter and Sonny Boy's Easter Egg Ferstecklel job. "Nein, nein, nein Burga! Deinen Oyer sind zu nah Deinen Mann!" "Volley [Wally 'Sonny Boy' Chief of The Command Post] Nein, Volley. Du shtay right zehr .. Ja, da.. Perfekt!" Oma, remembers an Easter, when they had no eggs to decorate. With the meager rations she had, which was more than any enlisted person's ration, thanks to her bartering skills and former Lieutenant ranking in the German Luftwaffe. She made Her way from the sparse running Frankfurt A.M. streetcars to meet up with some acquaintances She knew, from [The Resistance] back during the war.
Such an ugly time. You knew not whom to trust. Especially those who would fly their flags any way the wind blows. This ride would only cost Her one third of Her rations of Lebensmittel. But the Stoyer on cigarettes was two packs! Ah, but Thanks to that nice black American G.I., He always addressed Her as "Ms. Helen" with the krommisch [Deep South Black Sharecropper] accent, He had gifted for the Easter Holiday, in surprise, a FULL carton of Pall Mall Non Filter cigarettes! American Cigarettes! Her eyes welled with tears, remembering what those white G.I.'s had done to Him. "Na, Ja, Das war das Zeit. Heute es Geht ganz gut. Schoen Gruss zum Allen im Himmel." Feigning smoke burned eyes from her long ago finished cigarette, Helene, [pronounced Helen] wiped away the tears of that time.
Image by Veo
Within a split second, tears of uncontrollable laughter, rolled down her cheek. Her Daughter was angry, yet trying not to laugh. Sonny Boy was laughing so hard he was creasing his uniform that She, just this morning, freshly ironed and lightly starched. There before Her stood a naked, dripping, schrei am Himmel of a
Granddaughter.
"Oma! Oma! You and Daddy had better stop laughing at me!"
In abrupt Germanglish Helene [pronounced Helen] assumed Her Oma role. "Lei Dee Ackroit! Was machts Du denn hier drausen im Kalt? Furdammtnochamal!"
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Four Year Old Precocious Kathe, oblivious to the cold and her unclothed state, crossed her arms, looked up to her Oma and while tapping one foot, she punctuated "Oma, Stop Speaking That German Stuff! You know I only speak perfect Flemish, perfect French, perfect Tulip Hollandish and Absolutely Perfect English!
Ahhhh-Mer-eh-ken English!"
Kathe's Disciplinarian Oma stepped to the foreground. "Kas-zleen Helen Ackroit!" (In Oma's heart and mind she was still laughing at Her Perfekte Kah-dee. So Goldisch. Aber schtoor wie eine Bochschwein ist Sie! Wishing she had Her 'magic wand Kochloeuffel to reach for . . and Adorable Perfect Granddaughter or not; No child ever addresses an adult in this manner and tone! Stubbornly refusing the speak in 'American English Mandate', Oma growled out stern, matter of fact marching orders to the Tiny, Rosy Red Cheeks, wet with tears of frustration and betrayal, (and still oh so adorable naked child, She loved so much and would lay Her own life down for) Commanding Commandant, standing before Her. The following slew of German words had Her Daughter saying "Mamma, aber bitte" and Sonny Boy still laughing and holding his hands up in mock surrender. Neither parent dared interrupt the discipline scene. To do so would usurp and undermine Mom's/Helen's power. They both had far too much respect for The Woman to do that.
Four Year Old Precocious Kathe looked to each parent for backup. None was forthcoming. "Fine! Im going in the house! Because I want to! Not because She keeps Yelling at me in that German Stuff!" Stomping off and into the big house with the heavy oak double doors, the naked child finally realized that the towel she had previously wrapped around her, lay damp and crumpled halfway up the huge wooden spiral staircase. Not to be defeated by this realization, she screamed "Eat my Easter Bunny Eggs! Those are mine! But You can have them ALL! I don't want them! They're probably ugly and have ugly green yolks!" Trying with all her might to slam the heavy oak door for added emphasis in punctuation, "And Another Thing! I'm Not Getting Dressed! I'm Going Just Like This To Your Stupid Party!"
Then, since the big old stupid heavy door betrayed her also by going "schwoooshhh" instead of "KERR-SLAMM!" Four Year Old Precocious Kathe, locked the door.
COMMENTS (*As this is a 21+ Mature Audience Space, cussing is allowed, But cuss the situation. Don't cuss one another. Approach it as a "Funny now, not so much then" type of an answer. Or, better yet, share a Funny Bunny Story from Your Childhood) Hoppy Easter 🐰 🐣 To You All
COMMENTS FOR "YOU ARE THE FUNNY BUNNY NARRATOR" 👇
Mz. 👀🐝Hopping Mad, from Rabbit Hole Wyoming writes: Children and especially Grandchildren; when little they walk over your toes. When grown, they stomp on Your Heart.
